Tiger Flower of the desert
by Constance-Lirit
Summary: male x male Grell and Gaara up a tree D i made a high school version of them both fluff this is my first / second boy sorta thing so some comments would be helpful S Grell loves Gaara to peices but gaara and co. shun him
1. Protection

Deep in the hot and parched deserts of the Sand village a small park sits hidden behind a tall rock landscape where rarely anything grows on its own, children used to play in it but where soon scared off by events that shocked and horrified those who lived there. That, of course, was all but for one small child who would play there alone with his small stuffed bear on the swing set quietly. Staring out at the tumble reeds and dust that would circle and dance in the warm breeze, occasionally how ever people did come to the park. This was not to play but to torment the young red head, innocent and harmless, but they never understood that. They saw a monster and that's all they would ever see, blinded by what everyone around them thinks and whispers. He did fear them and would try to run but this time he was cornered, his only protection was the sand shield around him.

'there he is' the voices would shout, 'get him', they would chant, 'monster', 'demon', it was their war cry; their only logic against this mere child. He would cry in despair and plead for them to stop, plead for anyone to help him, he never meant anything he did, he tried to apologies only to be shunned. When the yelling suddenly silences he would open his eyes and look to watch them leaving him crying, taking a brick from his innocence to shatter with them. One of those days was different however as he sat alone in his sunken thoughts, the voices were shouting their usual monotone, rocks were at the ready along with prepared, practised and rehearsed lines that he knew too well. They came but ended so soon as their attention was averted away towards a tall dark figure coming closer, fast in its strides and calmly stopping beside the young child. Terror lurked in the young Childs eyes looking up at this unfamiliar figure, they do not look back but instead a hand is struck down at him. Not to hit but to protect him from the attacks, they seemed oblivious to the boys powers yet knew of them.

The attacks would start but never got far before they were shot right back at the thrower instead hitting them, People call him a monster, people call him a freak for being different; but what are these anyway? Someone frightening the civilians or is it someone too scared to understand and so they hurt them to make up for what they do not have? This tall figure basked in the dusk and shadows of his cloak and hood, he now stands in front of the child, the people that before warned them of the child questions their sanity to no reply. Only another loud click of the rocks being hit back towards them, they glare and leave in disgust eyeing down the figure and motioning spits towards the child. Once gone only does the figure actually rest their arm and look down from the dark veil to look at the child, checking for any injuries to find none and giving a short sigh seeing he's fine. His voice surprises the child to widening his eyes and staring, they sounded younger than he thought.

"are you okay?" the voice musters in a calm voice turning to completely look at the young boy, his green eyes looking and trying to break the veils stealth. Only a short nod is replied before he looks to his feet, this seemed to make the saviour curious towards him. "what's your name?" this however surprises the young boy into looking back up again. "Gaara…" he speaks in a husk voice unsure of this new figure, was he friend or foe?

"that's a nice name, Gaara. My names Grell Matsoukis" they reply as a puff of smoke descends them down to Gaara's height, a short chuckle is relived and the veil is dropped. Grell was 5 or 6 years-old just like himself. "I saw them attacking so I wanted to help" they smile in a friendly manner, he was a friend, someone Gaara could possibly even trust, even if it where only to last for a little while. "I'm new to the village, you go to the sand village school right?" Grell seemed rather talkative compared to Gaara who himself only nods or shakes his head to answer his questions, he would try to smile, just a little towards the boy just that little bit taller than himself. "maybe we can become friends" he chuckles again in a childish manner, Gaara smiles at this, a friend? Surely it was some sort of dream, even the most dim of children wouldn't talk to him. "I'll walk you home if you like, Gaara" he smiles again taking the same form as before and becoming silent inside the village, the streets empty and quiet as usual. Gaara smiled once again giving a short wave as Grell who casualy waved while walking away further down the street.

[12 years later]

Supposedly there would be days when you didn't see him, and then days when you did. He just appeared suddenly, shouting threats up the main hall, then went away again. You didn't question it. Nobody said anything to Gaara. You just averted your eyes when he was there and laughed about him when he wasn't, behind his back. You knew he was coming when you heard his shoe's along the stone floor, regular as a heartbeat. Gaara was 18 and had become Kazekage, yes the Kage of Sunagakure. He had become emotionless and cold by his late teens, ignoring anyone who would talk to him and 'disposed' of those who dared to give him sass. The tall red head had moved into a small apartment with his brother and sister Kankuro and Temari, even though Gaara's social problems where not at their best they were a close family who protected and stuck up for each other in every situation given. They would do their separate things, Temari would usually train and talk to her friends while Kankuro worked on his puppets and made them stronger. Gaara on the other hand would sit alone in a corner trying to have his own space, talking wasn't his thing even during training or sorting out missions and files for the town, that was probably why he had been paired with his siblings.

There was one fault to his social wall and that was a certain person who was obsessed with him more than any girl in the village, Grell. He had in fact passed all the tests and became the ANBU captain for the Sand village. Well known for his power and his attribute to saving Gaara from the organisation 'Akatsuki' this title however was broken only when he saw the Kazekage, foolishly attempting to glomp him only ever came to a face first into a sand wall, fist, foot or Kankuro and Temari using their own Jutsu to get rid of him. It wasn't that they hated him but his personality was above annoying in their minds, he was too friendly for anyone's liking who knew him.

Grell had elusive green eyes and red glasses that where rather classic because they had a chain on the end that held it together with small metal skulls attached to the frames, his features where rather feminine and he had slightly pale skin with long flowing fire crimson red hair that reached his ankles. Sharp shark like teeth freaked even the strongest of ANBU members and unlike any other captain he would wear a red jacket that hung off on his elbows, it only ever sat on his shoulders during battle or training, always wearing black trousers and a white shirt with a black waist coat. Grell took to wearing long boots with brown straps all the way up them and a short flat heel, his appearance reminded everyone of an upper-class, old fashion, posh English man. What made him the 'red devil' was not just his love for everything red but that he fooled even the smartest of men into thinking he was a woman, he always wore fake eyelashes but didn't have excessive make-up, he also loved to prance about and talk like a giddy school girl when it came to fashion, beauty or love. You knew he was coming because of his chainsaw screeching in sing song or vibrating when it turned on, Grell went everywhere with it; Like Gaara's gourd it was part of him.

Gaara had been walking calmly around the village always on his guard because as usual, Grell would most likely be hiding in an alley waiting for the perfect chance to pounce, when it did not happen he felt like it was a dream. Being pounced and then told over and over how beautiful he was irritated him, gluing Grell to a wall with his sand had become a daily routine that everyone was used to by now. It wasn't until later had he remembered Grell had been sent to a meeting in another village to speak with other ANBU captains, it was a field day for them all having to put up with the deity for an entire day. During the dusked evening Grell had returned still his happy go-lucky self, beside him his best friend who would always take the form of an animal to walk beside him. "it's a cruel reality isn't it?" Grell questions making the cat sigh rather irritated by him. "it's not often that Kami creates a perfect person like you Kyara, both beautiful on the inside and out" Grell smiles at the black cat making her actually stop. "w-what…?" eyes widen when Grell suddenly picks her up and does a half way twirl sending her off into the air and letting her land back on her own four feet.

"I understand how you feel since not everyone is blessed as you are, but you must console your self otherwise how will you go on living?" Grell softly adds smiling like a lady fantasising about her dream ball dance with the prince, twirling on the spot as he does so. "and think about this, Kyara! Why do you think they put works of art in museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world! And those born beautiful should promote beautiful things! I do all of this because everyone must be made to feel like a star! For beauty! For those working night and day to pursue beauty! But don't worry! I have decided to share my work with you!" Grell does a twirl hugging him self then punching the air excitedly, Gaara had stopped near by and concealing in the shadows.

"here's a tip! When setting down your glass extend your pinkie finger as a cushion…" Grell mumbles as he goes as if it where a step to step instruction guide. "then that way when you set it down you wont make a lot of noise" Grell then rambles quietly to him self again before suddenly turning back to Kyara then smiling again. "but above all else Kyara, you must remember how beautiful a glance to the side can be.." the red head turns and pushes his glasses up with a rather handsome smile but she seems to be deep in thought. Kankuro and Temari and been passing and stopped to stare after noticing Gaara.

"I've got it!" Kyara gasps putting her paw into her pad and smiling happily, Grell smirks. "ah so my--" Grell is suddenly cut off by Kyara as she stands transforms out in joy. "you're obnoxious!" silence consumes before they find Grell had frozen and was now twitching his eyebrow, both sand siblings laughing hysterically at this and agreeing. Grell still frozen looks at the cat now standing in front of him smirking in amusement at this, the red head looking down then growls rather angrily.

"what did you just say?!" the red head snaps taking all of them back in surprise, Grell looked about ready to strangle the cat, his elusive green eyes about ready to blaze. "he's not worth the words Kyara" Kankuro laughs stepping out from the shadows taking the two by surprise, followed by Temari and of course Grell's favourite person, Gaara. "welcome." Grell calmly state attempting to regain his status and grin happily at the Kazekage, they where ready for that instant happy field frolic towards him.

"Havn't you got better things to do" Temari smirks as Grell takes a short step forward a devious grin on his face.

"in that case…let me hug Gaara until my hearts content!!" he yells charging forward like a blind bull towards the Kazekage with arms stretched, the Kazekage moving only to watch the attacker go face first into a wall behind him, Gaara steps towards Kyara to distance him self again followed by his brother and sister before turning to look at him. Rather dazed then being even more confused when a plant pot above knocks him in the head. "why are you harassing poor Kyara anyway?" Kankuro raises an eyebrow while scratching the cat behind the ears fondly, the girl smiling contently at the action. "because she said something she shouldn't have uttered in front of me!" he pouts shrugging as the cat glares then smirks as if to say 'you are what I say you are', Gaara for once actually saying something in a bored and calm tone.

"shouldn't you still be in the other town?" Grell shrugs again sorting out his frazzled red hair, and mumbling slightly when he can't get it just right. "They ordered me to find something in the desert while they had their meeting, but I couldn't find it and I was hungry and tiered. So I rested for a bit in a flower field and when I woke up the meeting had finished close to here without my knowing, that should be the other captains faults for not coming to look for me. Sometimes I wonder if they actually like me or do this every time to get rid of me" Grell clasps his hands together and tilts his hip in an attempt at dramatising his story as the others whisper amongst them selves that its obvious that no one likes him.

"but now I'm here, waiting for my prince's kiss…a kiss with the tongue" Grell swings his hip and puckers up his lips towards Gaara, Kankuro glares putting an arm up to protect the Kazekage, Gaara on the other hand doesn't seem swayed by the strange notion. The cat idly walking closer and hitting the taller man in the leg and glaring. "like I said, your obnoxious. Of course they sent you out on that mission to get rid of you, you're an annoying idiot who needs to grow up and actually Act like a grown adult. You're worse than Naruto…" the cat hisses and murmurs trotting away beside the three sand siblings, Grell stares at them all walking away and starts to stomp on the ground like an enraged rhino grabbing his chainsaw and shaking it around.

"just because I have more looks that you will ever have!" Grell hisses again taking them back at the words slipping from his mouth, since when did he threaten or speak like that. "hey…" Temari puts her hand up looking over her shoulder for a moment at the furious red head, Grell had now stopped and was staring but still glaring angrily. "Kyara is right, you need to grow up and stop acting like that. It's not cute nor is it funny" Gaara suddenly replies making Grell freeze again and stare, they only nod and walk away leaving ANBU captain on his own in the middle of the street.

"even Gaara…?" he slowly places the edge of his chainsaw to the ground and watches them until they are out of site before sighing gently, a short grumble reminds him of his urge to eat and soon he sits alone eating ramen. Walking casually he strides to the park where he had first met Gaara and then glances at the play set still there but alone, everyone had gotten bored of the park and had abandoned it leaving it to Grell to use as a place to think and hang around in. Gaara would come to the park at night since he never slept but learnt that Grell would come looking for him so had chosen somewhere else, even though the Deserts were hot in the day they were cold as ice at night. Swinging on the metal chain he stares out into the empty abyss feeling much like Gaara did when he was younger, had time really changed that much that Gaara became Grell and he had become Gaara. Even though the red head denied being hated he knew deep down he was, he could remember all the missions his team members would send him on alone while they worked together, even in the Chuunin's Grell was left to his own devises by the members.

"worse than Naruto…?" he murmurs looking down to his polished back boots sighing then shaking his head at the thought, other than this he had been thinking a lot about what they had all told him. At first he ignored their remarks but to have heard Gaara tell him the same was a heart breaker in his eyes, even his own childhood friend had come to resent him. At first if people glared or shouted at him it never truely hurt his feelings or pride but now he didn't understand the stomach churn and so tried to ignored it and tell him self they were just fooling around, however if Gaara told him something he took it to heart and believed it to the end. Not that the Kazekage really understood him but did anyone really understand him?


	2. Emotional Break

They cursed his fashion, talents, personality and emotions, in his mind if he had the emotional range of a teaspoon everyone would be much better off. Grell could never remember really having anyone to look up to, he couldn't remember having parents or family. His only real understanding of where he came from was a headband with a scar through it and a drop with a strange crescent moon that resembled a puddle being dripped onto, it was mostly likely some sort of symbol of blood that maybe pinpointed his love and lust for anything red.

His green eyes where in his opinion symbolic of envy, he could touch and wear red but would never be red. Being jealous of a colour sounded stupid but for him it was something he thrived on because red seemed to be his closest thing to home. A tumbleweed bouncing by takes his attention for only a moment before he closes his eyes and swings higher and higher, it felt like he was flying then falling but never quiet hitting the ground before something saved him. It felt nice to think of it that way, being caught before the worst could happen to you.

~when I counted up my demons, I saw there was one for every day. With the good ones on my shoulders...I drove the other ones away. so if you ever feel neglected and if you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, hoping everything's not lost~ Grell softly hums keeping his eyes closed and swinging just that little bit higher into the air. ~when you thought that it was over you could feel it all around and everybody's out to get you; don't you let it drag you down~ suddenly letting go when he swings forward he flies through the air landing on his feet and calmly opening his eyes to find the area still empty, Grell felt a little better now but it would probably be the same tomorrow. A devious plan suddenly struck a cord with him as he paces back to the swing and sits down, they want him to grow up and act his age, everyone does. Why not give them what they want and see how they react without a noisy, bouncy Grell rampaging, how would they feel if he suddenly started to ignore them? It wasn't like they acted like good friends in the first place, they always disregarding his feelings to make them selves smile. A taste of their own medicine would show them some kind of compasion, maybe they would say they where sorry? Tell him he had more than just a colour and an old headband to hold him together.

Lets see how long they live without seeing him around at all, Grell had better things to do as Temari enquired and he'll do them starting tomorrow morning. That desert flower wasn't going to find its self, Grell smiles to him self swinging one last time and opening his eyes as he free falls forward on the 'let go' ; the red head lands and smirks. Even by the break of dawn when the sun had started to rise and dye the landscape a yellow glow, Grell was already up and rearing to go, packed food and water was already dumped on his sofa while the T.V complained about the news headlines and usual weather that never changed. Out the door on 9am sharp he looks around the streets only just starting to open with shopkeepers or the casual Courier-nin, Grell smiles and tilts his head to passers by on the way to the exit.

Giving a hello to the sleepy guards at the entrance before walking out into the desert dunes, there wasn't much to see in the desert but Grell kept him self company with a couple shadow clones. Splitting up with a few of them to go in different directions in search of the plant, even though the sun was at its peek the heat was cool making the walk rather enjoyable and relaxing. It amused him when a couple scorpions or snakes scattered from his feet or followed in his shadow to hide from the sun, at one point the nin got bored so got a piggy back from one of his clones until it burst from exhaustion. Grell had been out for many hours and still he had found no sign of the flower only cactus's and small bushes, Grell would only smirk and whistle in tune with the wind hitting the sand dunes making a serene song, it was peaceful and some moments he wished it would never end. The clones had soon all burst and the sun was setting on the horizon but Grell refused to give in just yet, he needed to stay determined about finding the plant. His eyes squint and his mouth drops showing his shark teeth while he gives a bored expression, kicking a small tumbleweed up into the air only to find it fly back and hit him in the face.

Looking around he stops by a small pool of water with fire flies buzzing around in it, he recognised this before from his travels as a small child. The green and azure water sparkles back his reflection and the full moon behind him, he had never noticed it before until now. It was bigger than he had ever seen it as he submerges a hand and spins it in the water seeing how cool it was, looking around just in-case the area was empty. Jumping in after folding his clothes Grell purrs in the back of his throat at the relaxing water, using a rock close by to lean again and star gaze upwards. The constellations were beautiful like millions of uncut diamonds, his emerald eyes seemed envious of them but his mind told him they should be red.

"red stars would be so much more beautiful…" Grell hums closing his eyes with a soft smile, the howl of a coyote in the background discomforts him for only a moment more. Thinking about the colour red and stars above him he slowly sunk into the depth of his mind stirring something he was trying to forget about, Gaara. Maybe the Kazekage would be worried about him being gone like that but the thought is stabbed by thought kunai, he had left a message with his squad telling them of the mission. Gaara probably knew where he had gone making the ANBU captain relax and sink further into the warm water, a deep sigh leaving his parted lips as a lily pad floats by. Rippling the water Grell stands back up keeping his lower half submerged as he dries his upper half then dresses slowly, there was no need to rush but he didn't want to stay too long.

The thought of pruning worried him, he may be acting like an adult but that was no reason to compromise his appearance. It was strange for Grell to be smiling all the time like this with no one around, humming another random tune the red head shifts his glasses and sorts out his neck tie into a kind of light knot while walking. Chuckling at the sand mooching at his boots when he walks, something red takes his eye making him turn to look, a cactus sits perched by a rock glistening in the moon. His eyes widen with joy at the sight but as he gets close it fades away, putting his hand to his forehead he murmurs gently for falling for a trick. Rubbing his chin he can feel the stubble trying to break through his skins barrier, with the city in sight he decided he would call for a break and have a rest. Maybe get something hot to eat and relax on his bed for a couple of hour before setting back out again, as usual everyone was already in bed at this time, all but the small food shops that were still open making him smile. "Ramen please" Grell politely orders sitting down on the bench and eating slowly, striking up a friendly chat with the man as he does so; to Grells luck he seemed to know a lot about plants. "perhaps you could help me, I've been looking for a special desert flower" Grell tilts his head placing down the bowl to the man, he nods showing he is listening to him. "Its called the Lions Claw" the man blinks and widens his eyes.

"you're going to have to do some searching to find That" he chuckles taking the empty bowl from Grell then showing him a painting. "it's thought to have been extinct for hundreds of years.." he begins looking at the nin's face which seemed to turn to disappointment. "however that's only because no ones been able to find it, they gave up after a short while. It sprouted and could be found in a few valleys in the desert south of here" the man gives Grell the drawing to keep and starts to point him in the direction. "it grew in the highest and deepest parts of the valley, can I make a simple request?" the man chuckles as Grell nods and takes a camera and a scroll from him, a mission scroll?

He hadn't been given one in year that he wasn't only to give to another. "take a photo of it and bring it back, they only ever found it and took a picture in black and white" Grell puts the equipment away and curiously looks to the old fashioned photo and folded up map he had been given, at least now if he found the flower he could take a picture as prove and get a reward for finding it. There was one problem now running in his mind from that the shop keeper had told him, it had been extinct? What if he really had disappeared, Grell shook his head ending the thoughts. He had and would find the Lions Claw, even if he searched for 4 days without stopping; he wasn't going to give up. The ANBU captain walks calmly down the street glancing over at four figures that seemed to have stopped to look at him, he recognised them and was about to lose his rule and run at them with arms wide but remembers and bites his tongue. Kyara raises her eyebrow watching Grell completely blank their existence even though he had obviously seen them and Gaara, they had noticed his strange behaviour lately but like Grell they had a peaceful and calm day without him. Perhaps the strange change was a good thing, when Gaara had received the message of the red heads absence he didn't really think about it.

Once the red head was out of sight he turns his attention back to their latest conversation again, he was probably just too tiered to attack. Grell packs extra food and water along with a change of clothes and other things from around the house, taking note to take photo's of anything he liked and to take them to a photo shop later. There was no point wasting the camera he had been given on just one picture on the trip, that small pool with fireflies would have made a nice picture to stick up on the wall. Showering and doing the usual stretches he steps out and walks down the dusty street road, dodging the kids that ran around wildly. Gaara and the others stood near the entrance talking to the guards, eyes turn to him walking past and out the town, his green eyes don't catch with any of theirs as the guards blink and call for the ANBU.

"hey captain, where you off to this time?" Grell stops giving a questioning 'hm?' then smiling, it seemed the others where waiting for a childish answer.

"personal matters" Grell casually replies turning again and walking away leaving them in silence, they had now noticed the rather large bag hoisted on his shoulder and his old village belt banging on his swaying hips, Grell wasn't wearing the village sand headband. "he's been acting strange" one guard murmurs "I'm worried about him" another says glancing at the fading red head walking into the misty suns heat, the others blink.

"why would you worry about him?" Kyara questions raising an eyebrow. "there's something wrong with Grell…" the guard retorts with an annoyed expression. "what's Not wrong with Grell?" Temari laughs casually while the guards seem rather irritated by their tones, the other guard sighs leaning against the post. "I think today is going to be long and boring" both guards agree with one another and tilt their heads down and give deep sigh, the others raise another eyebrow to the guards before walking away back into the city to do their own business. Underestimating the truth of how boring the city actually had become, they pinned it down to it being the heat.

Grell runs a hand through his sleek hair and looks at his quivering hand, it had taken everything in him to ignore Gaara and not hug him when he was that close. Supposedly the mountain was a days walk if he only stopped once or twice for rest, he didn't want anyone following so he went a different path until he was sure no one was close by before moving to walk towards the northern end of the mountains point where a small path was supposed to start. Grell looks around the dull yellow surroundings taking quick photos of a scorpion and other critters that happened to take his eye, this time he had brought his random pads of paper and pens to scribble when he rested to keep his mind on things.

~I know you bring the best out of me and I know you're sick of abstract things but time has been kind in a weird kind of way Cause I've been waiting for this feeling to leave. If I can hold onto this feeling this long maybe I can get you to hold me~ he hums and writes down the words trying to find just the right words, tune and rhythm to perfection.

~You'll change the world, at least you changed the world for me. I won't be sorry if you leave me girl, Cause I'm the world's biggest fan of clichés. I'll set you free then I'll love like I'm not hurting in the world's worst ways~ Grell sings as loud as he likes walking through the sands with the mountain in the distance, getting bigger and bigger the closer he had became. Green eyes wide with astonishment at its peeks, taking another photo he smiles softly. He now had a photo of the mountain, the path he was about to take and many different creatures. His adventure was saved to his aspiring happiness.

~But I don't know if I can make it alone and I don't have much more left to lose, I can't say for sure just where I'll end up. I just want to end up there with you, when the darkness never ends and my world's crashing in and it starts to turn again. Will you believe? When I won't get over you and my world splits in two, when I just can't make it through. Will you believe?~ Grell hums stepping up the steep mountain path that is full of bushes with spikes and thorns that poke out, a couple birds flutter away at the sudden movement close by. Luckily the red head had snapped the photo's before they ran away, it was a nice sight as they sat together with a wing over one of them in a kind of snuggle. A Small rabbit hops past stopping to look at the strange creature coming towards it, no one came up the mountains anymore so the path was untouched of human presence.

It had become dark by the time Grell had reached the foot of the mountain and the main path upwards into the valleys, plants nor animals were here except the occasional roosting vulture or small insect. Looking out at the open path high up on the cliff face there was no moon, but the stars shouted for attention of the camera which he gave them. They seemed to dazzle and bask in the endless and cloudless dark sky. Grell had found a nice open space to camp for a couple of hours, his feet were swore and his legs were crying but he didn't mind it was all for the effort in his opinion. Laying out under the stars felt nice, his chainsaw and coat were set against a large rock off the ground while he lay on a thick blanket he had packed. It didn't take long before he fell asleep in the calm atmosphere, he had woken up only a couple hours later to find a scorpion sitting on his chest. Most people would have panicked at the sight but he simply used his pad of paper close by to move it to the ground away from the camp, living in the desert village made waking up with weird things in your bed normal. For him it was normal anyway, he could remember times he would go to the bathroom to find a snake or large spider in it.

It was a nice morning sunrise in which he took another photo of and smiled, being out here gave Grell inspiration for a lot of new songs or music he could write, the solitude made practising so much better because there was no one to say anything when he started. Climbing the tall mountain and glancing about the red head rubs the back of his neck, he had been searching for a couple of days now with no luck, he was in the area where the plants grew to find nothing then going further up. It had grown colder even with the sun on its throne in the sky and the animals were now completely gone leaving Grell alone to search, several more days had passed without word to the sand village but that wasn't important right now finding the plant was all Grell could focus on. Something caught his eye after lazing on the dusty ground, there where vines, life? Jumping up and running forward the red head stares at his find, ruins that sat in front of a cave which had been hidden by a large boulder. By the eroding rock around it the boulder had been released to uncover the cave from secrecy, perhaps a place no one had ever ventured into?

There was nothing around that seemed to endanger the ANBU captain as he starts to carefully walk into the darkness, soon using a hand to guide him along the walls that where moist. The gravel beneath his feet slowly starting to dip into a steep hill, behind him the light had disappeared leaving him only to trust his instincts and guided touch. A soft gulp lined his throat making his Adams apple twitch under the silent pressure, his green eyes try to stare through the perpetual darkness down at his feet trying to make out where he was walking. Only to lose his 'sure' footing and trip but even though his bum had met the ground with a loud 'oomph' he didn't stop moving, in fact he started to slide slowly at first until steadily starting to plummet rapidly downwards on the rocky hill. Turning onto his belly he attempts to grab and snatch at anything above him only to have it slide past or onto him painfully, a loud crack tells Grell he had hit something then a splash linked its way around him before water started to steal him under. The impact had severely winded him and everything around the nin started to spiral out of control followed by a black out, his breathing took a deep pitch when everything around him started to flow back.

Unfamiliar sights force his mind to swiftly register his surroundings and sit up only to flop back down at a pang of horrible pain scorches his nerves, not moving he looks from his folded arms at the cave flooring then at the water he had left half his body submerged in. Eventually recovering some of his strength he claws at the rock outcrops to haul onto dry land, lucky close by his bag and weapon had scattered in sight to his relief. Grell's emerald eyes start to move awkwardly around the cave noticing it was light with a flickering of deep reds, purples, blues and greens much like a diamond held into the sunlight allowing it to scatter the array of colours like a rainbow. Slowly and unsteadily he stands up wobbling slowly to his things and then towards the light, another ruin sat in the middle of the large cavern. Vines ran down the marble top and small stones crumble down onto the ground or into the small pool, but even this sight couldn't explain the lights. He didn't mind as he took many different photo's after remembering the camera then stepping closer he leans out to stare at his reflection. Gaping in horror with a gaped mouth at the makeup running like streams down his face and dried into black grunge on his cheeks and eyes, cupping his pale hands together he starts to wash his face.

This water was cool but relaxing and sent Goosebumps down his spine while he looked at his arms that had been scratched severely by the rocks and sharp edges on his fall, perhaps a small bathe in the water would be okay while he relaxed and tried to recollect his current situation into fine detail. Jumping slightly he slides into the water and starts to shift from side to side looking around the cavern for an exit, there where no signs of a mouth but the tunnel seemed to go deeper. Eventually his curiosity won over getting him to redress, fix back to his beautiful self and trot slowly down the narrowing corridor. It felt like hours that he had been walking down the rainbow lit tunnels, taking many photos of mushrooms and other weird sights he had never seen before. Eyes widening at the sight of a light at the end of the tunnel making his heart bounce and his legs move at tremendous speed to the other end only to slow down when what seemed like a short distance was much longer than his perception had suggested.

Blinding sunlight bursts only his exposed face and forces his eyes to shut tightly for a moment until he could gradually open them, the lights beams stinging at his eyes every time he opened them too fast but it was worth it as he looked at the grass field with walls covering every inch of it. This must have been the very top of the mountains volcano because of the bowl shape and flat floor, but that wasn't what mattered to him right now. What grew amongst the grass sent a flurry of different scents to his nose, a mixture between honey, almonds and a strange spice burns at him like wild fire. Grell had did it as he grabs his camera and snaps photos in all directions in glee, carefully he takes large strides stopping right at the plant he had been looking for so long. "Lions Claw!" he whimpers kneeling to look closer at it, his eyes watering in a proud yet childish manner. It was a lushes royal red that seemed to smile at ongoing look, he took a few pictures then looked around seeing there to be no other of the flower. His hand stretched out and cups the underside of the buds in-between his fingers as if holding a glass of fine wine, he only pulled gently before a small pang of guilt was growing in his chest telling him something. Grell's plane hands stop in their movements as he stares down at the plant then around him silently "the last one?" that pang of guilt tightening until he pulls his cupped hand away and is placed softly onto his lap, his long black lashes stare onto its open petals that steal at the heat and light bathing it.

"you're like me…" he softly whispers putting his hands into the grass and gripping it like hair, his head tilted downwards to stare at his black trousers that where now muddy from his exploration. Grell hadn't noticed the hot tears forming until they drop onto the cloth staining them, then dripping onto the plant and running either off or into the flowers gentle dip. He didn't want to leave the plant like this but a small idea seemed to hatch as he looks closely at the plants seeds, plucking them and digging short holes to bury them into. In the palm of his hand held the last seed he had plucked from its parent, this one he gently placed carefully into a pouch to keep safe until he got home. Taking more photo's he started to lay down in the long grass and stare at the blue sky calmly, the wind tickling at his bare skin. It felt like he had forgotten about something…or someone but he couldn't remember what or who it was.


	3. Dream Dream Dream

Soon the dark of dusk evaporated the night and the once orange tinted grass turned to a deep green that lit up when the wind blew the blades into the moons direction, Grell had fallen sleep peacefully and dreamt of strange things he thought he recognised. Stood in the sands of what seemed like a desert, his emerald eyes glance around as he walks the empty lands looking for anything, then he saw it, there stood a figure with their back to him staring towards the empty skies beyond anyone's reach. The crimson head stops and calls out to the unknown stranger who doesn't turn to greet or look.

"hello?" he softly asks in a confused tone but the tall red head with a gourd on his back still doesn't acknowledge him, softly and carefully he steps closer but stops when the person suddenly raises their head up and turns to look at him from over his shoulder. Green eyes linked but he still doesn't recognise him and only blinks, they turn completely and hold out something in their hand. He gasps and reaches out to take his glasses but the finder retracts his offering hand captivating Grell's wrist in a tight grasp pulling him closer, there was no room for gasps as the figures emotionless eyes turn to a dangerous glare. Their soft lips moving as if he is speaking but he can't hear him at first, the same words seem to be repeated slowly getting louder while Grell shakes his head. Reaching out his hand and shouting to the figure starting to strangely float backwards after dropping the glasses into the sand and letting them sink in, Grell too started to slowly become gloved in sand as his hand stays reached out for the other man.

"wait! I don't understand you. Wait!" he pleads pathetically until everything started to go dark, the entirety of his body was now devoured by the hungering sands leaving him in paralyzed darkness. For a moment he was alone in the horrible nightmare, a voice making its way. "**remember**…" it softly whispers into his mind as Grell opened his eyes to find him self floating downwards towards a strange orb of light at the bottom. Around his being was the rapid then slowly movements of what looked like footage for old tapes that swarmed like bee's in a frenzy. His pale hand takes a strip of it and stares, it was blank and empty and with taking another it was the same. Again the voice spoke but now it seemed closer to him but away from seeing eyes. "**remember**, **Grell**" it says again while the red head finds him self turning to face directly at the bright light, hand reached to grab it but his falling seemed slow. Kicking his legs he starts to attempt to speed up his reach for the object, he blinks when he finally grabs it and holds it tight in his palm.

"remember what…" he glares questing the orb that seemed to dull and turn heavy and metallic, he thought hard but just couldn't remember but something about the red head made his gut twist and wrench awkwardly. "Who was he…" Grell softly presses his head against the orb and looks at the footage, some of it which was once faded was there. That same red head he couldn't figure out stood together with what seemed like his siblings, Grell searched the moving photo and saw him self hiding above them on the roof looking down. Spying on them? No it seemed the red head knew he was there because his green eyes had moved up to directly look at him, looking at more of the pictures and moving footage it seemed more like Grell stalked the tall man who knew he was there every time.

One of the photo's showed him attempting to hug him only to be thrown a meter away by some sort of sand shield, but in others people around him seemed to be hugging him just fine. Still the sand controlling figure looked directly where Grell stood with a rather jealous expression, a giggle leaving him when he looks at one with one of the siblings chasing him off with a broom while he stood staring from his window down at them. Gentle thoughts in his eyes and amusement at the blonde beating him half to death with it, another sibling stalking about at the door laughing heartedly. Grell's eyes sadden at how many of the picture seemed to be him getting beaten to a pulp for going near the strange red head. The further up the footage he went seemed to lead him through his younger days, it was all the same throughout what seemed to be many years. The same group with the same consequences of him being mowed over for trying to get close to him, why was he so tied to this guy?

The film seemed to lead through school and right back to him self seeming at least 6 and standing in front of the also young red head protecting him from stones and other objects being thrown, the siblings weren't to be seen anymore which meant they only came in later on. Grell wasn't attempting to hug him and the boy was actually smiling, his smile and cheery pink cheeks seemed to make his steady heartbeat bounce, begging to be released out of his ribcage. Without warning the film seemed to end in his grip and disappear making room for him to grab another one, A strip seemed rather eager to be looked at as it whisks past almost getting his neck in the process.

He was older this time and standing next to an older man with greying hair and a scroll, he was shaking the hand of him professionally. ANBU cheering as he is apparently awarded with a new weapon, his chainsaw. Then it hit him rather suddenly that he was ANBU captain of the sand village, but again the red head he saw was still missing from his mind. Grell mused over the sight of him self hugging another man then suddenly his eyes squint and move to the red head standing by a corner, watching them, he grinned lightly at his expression. Jealousy? And from what the crimson head could concoct, this mans actions where weird. When he tried to give him a hug he would deny it and walk away, but his arms around another person made him angry? His clothes reminded him he was the Kazekage of the village, perhaps the boy he hugged was what he was jealous about? Grell looked at other footage but this boy seemed to only hang around himself and then disappear, he didn't seem important. Was he in love with this man and that was why he chased him around like a love sick puppy? Grell stares for along time until the voice seemed to be barking at him again. "**remember**" it chanted making the dark area echo solemnly the footage quivering as if the voice's breaths were blowing on them.

Emerald eyes meet another image of him with a cat and the siblings, laughing while he himself seemed to be angry and upset at them. The red head turning and saying something that broke his heart in the image and all of them walking away seeming pleased with the out come, his happy and joyful expressions gone, the anger built up gone, he seemed to stare sadly and longingly at the back of the red head before turning and to heading away to the same park from his younger days. Empty and slowly crumbling while he swung quietly in his own thoughts, his eyes cocked up to the footage above of him ignoring the group. His red hair swishing as he walked past them out the gates, the Kazekage's face seemed rather distant while the guards expressions seemed false when confronting Grell. That's what seemed to bring a bubbling anger and frustration into Grell's mind as it came back to him, everything that had ever happened was the reason for him being here. To prove him self to everyone, himself and…

"Gaara" the red head shut his eyes and started to squeeze the tape roughly remembering his words, and actions, all of their reactions and unkind deeds to him. Realisation broke him out of the dream in the form of shattering walls and crumbling darkness, water bubbling and brooding around him.

"**if you die here and give up the real Grell will wake up and all of your memories will be regained just as you wished**" that same strange voice seemed to be taunting him as he floated down into the darker areas of this strange water prison, something about the statement made him angry.

"no…I don't want to die yet…I don't want to give up…" the red head closes his eyes thinking about all of his memories and slowly casting his mind into deep thought about everyone he knew. "I finally came to understand everyone… to understand my self. I can't die and give up here and lose that!!" Grell yells pulling him self up with eyes wide, a feverish thin sheet of sweat trickling down his skin and he was breathing heavily. Grell's nails tightly scrunched into a ball into his palm dripping a small amount of blood onto the green grass beneath him, his paralyzed green eyes slowly relaxing and his rapid breathing become gentle inhale and exhale's while his hand rubs away at the sweat.

"it's best I start to make my way to the village…" he softly swallows standing up and looking around, it was still light so he slowly paced himself through the field and towards the cave's mouth, but there was no colourful walls like before. On the other side the same pool was gone, instead it lead him out to the very bottom of the mountains on the very other side, this confused him but he had no time to think as the ground and walls started to shake considerably. Running at the speed of light he flings himself out and into the sands as several large boulders and rocks slam down where he once stood, a landslide?


	4. The Truth

Laying sprawled the red head grumbles staring at the night sky and this confused him even more, he was only in that area for a few moments and now it was suddenly night time? Something about where he just was had a strange way about it, most likely he will never see that area again but he didn't mind. He had seeds and photos of the magical place making him smile sweetly to him self, Grell stands up searching for the right direction to head in towards the village. It wasn't until the late afternoon had he finally made it back to the village, the guards where overjoyed to see him and bow. He smiles and walks further in blinking at the fact that no one was around, all were hiding but the red head only shrugs it off and goes home. Grell finds that the minute his feet hit the soft stool and his weight was dropped onto the sofa that he ached all over and blisters had become apparent. If he hadn't lost some weight or gained some muscle he would be rather miffed after all that walking, Grell had almost nodded off when a rather loud hammering to his door burst him up.

"coming coming!" the red head groans unwilling to move but anymore hammering would probably have broken the door down, opening it his eyes widen when a ball of black slams him to the ground. "GRELL!!!" it screeches like a harpy on crack squashing him to the wooden floor, Kyara glares at him as he sits up and gives her a rather confused look.

"what happened to you?" he questions earning a rather hard smack to the head and more hugging. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!" the cat girl screeches into his ear almost deafening him, Grell just gives her another strange look. "we've been worried sick!! You didn't answer any messages sent, even the most famous of trackers couldn't find you!!!" she snarls loudly attempting a strangle him while still hugging the life out of his arm, Grell eventually escapes her angry ranting in an attempt to limp out the door only to bump into the chest of someone else. Grell finds him self rung around the ear by Temari and thumped gently by Kankuro, both just as livid as Kyara was.

"where do you think you're sneaking off to?! You go missing for a week and a half without word and choose to come back now without even telling us of your return?" Temari begins with a very enraged glare, Kankuro wasn't as angry but still frustrated and flustered about the situation. "you didn't even tell the Kazekage where you were going, the guards told us your little 'mission' was personal but by our information you never left the desert region!" the cat ear hooded nin scowls giving a sort of curious look at all the scratches and starts to dawn on the fast that what stood before him was a beaten up look Grell.

"sorry.." the red head mumbles looking at them with worried eyes, had they been that worried? no...this was an act. He was an ANBU captain, without him the village wasn't safe. they are only worried that Grell wouldn't have been there to help them. "what happ.." Kankuro begins but Kyara butts in grabbing Grells arm and yanking him towards the exit. "we're going to the Kazekage, he's the one you should be saying sorry to!" she yelps as the sand siblings run to catch up, Grell struggling at first only to give up when her nails dig into his arms. Mean while Gaara had been in a meeting with a few powerful commanders until being interrupted by loud yelling and screeching outside, the secretary also yelling angrily and backing up when a very angry cat snarls its way into the room dragging a bundle of red behind her squirming slightly.

"you wont believe what I found" Kyara spits with a scowls twisting a rather frustrated Grell with his arms and legs crossed to look at them, for a moment Gaara stays slightly angry at the intrusion until the anger seemed to fire up at the sight of the long lost ANBU commander. Grell gets up rubbing the dirt that had been collected off and mutters with a childish glare, meanwhile the other nin had turned their attentions to Gaara, one at a time and where sneaking away. Kyara looked rather pleased with her self until notching her eyes up at the Kazekage's infamous psychotic glare that could possibly set a stone house on fire, she whimpers with her ears going back as Temari and Kankuro look away from the door as they enter at the sneaking away people then at Gaara before they too almost pee their pants and run with Kyara out of the room. Grell being the person he is, was still fixing his clothes and messed hair, unknown to how much he would regret not noticing and running when he could, his emerald eyes look everywhere but at the Kazekage silently.

"where did everyone go…" the nin mumbles before finally darting his eyes to the side almost flying right out of his skin at Gaara being only inch's from him self with the same glare, Grell just blinked and looked at him innocently taking a step backwards to give some distance. If the red head was trembling it wasn't fear but because he was holding but the urge to glomp and hug Gaara to death, his head cocks to the side and confusion overcomes when Gaara's gourd starts to spill sand on the floor around their feet slowly growing higher up their ankles.

"Gaara…?" the nin softly questions blinking and turning his eyes to the door when he says nothing, the glare had suddenly died away to a vacant expression. His hand reaches towards the door. "I think I'm going to…" he softly whimpers before giving a pathetic and girlish squeal when it slams shut and bolts, Gaara's sand spreading to cover any escape routes in the room while the sand around their feet was now covering their knee's. "G-Gaara…?" Grell whimpers reaching a hand out only to find the sand dart up and grab his wrist, he struggles but it only makes the sand grip tighter around any area it covered. Grell whimpers again looking at the Kazekage still starring forward at him but not making true eye contact, he pouts attempting to reach is other hand out only to find it also becomes shackled by the sand. That's when the glares and growling began emitting from Gaara as he suddenly focus's on his target, the sand rapidly attacking from all sides creating a large ball around them in which Gaara could control and Grell couldn't escape; even with his most powerful attack.

At first it was dark as Grell's wrists are released and he falls backwards into the still floored sand, he could barely see anything past his nose but he could hear the sound of Gaara's breathing above him, something was running through his mind making him growl and clutch his head in pain.

~~flash scene~~

Grell stood near Gaara in the Chuunin's after he had fought off Lee, his brother and sister had stayed clear because of his still infuriated emotions. Grell on the other hand had stayed and dared to talk to him, his usual big smile on while he sat happily next to the red head. "it's alright, it doesn't scare me at all" the feminine red head smiles looking at the sand nin who's eyes seem to stare into a world of their own as usual but anger and disgust was clear on his face.

~~end flash~~

Gaara stands silently after the head ache subsided "no…it really did scare you, didn't it?" he coldly speaks as Grell looks at where the voice had come from with a confused expression. "you where always checking to see if I was awake" he quietly stares down through the darkness. "you never looked at me the same way you did after…" he again coldly and slowly speaks to no one.

~~Flash~~

"I'm so proud of you Gaara!" Grell cheerfully giggles with a gentle yet childish manner, he looks at Gaara's huffy glare and giggles again at him.

"you're so cute when you scowl" his body shuffles slightly closer as he stops smiling and puts on a small pout on at being ignored, he knew not to push it but he worried.

~~E…Flash~~

"it must have been difficult…" Gaara stares down at the red head now on his knee's looking up at him.

~~Flash~~

Gaara's eyes turn to look at the pouting red head and he gives him the sort of glare that would tell any normal person to 'LEAVE' but Grell only sustains his pout and looks into Gaara's green eyes. His pout leaves and becomes stern as he looks at him quietly. "no…I love you" his eyes never leaving the sand siblings for a moment, never looking down, never quivering and never blinking.

"I would die for you, if it made you smile" Grell still keeps a stern tone before suddenly becoming bubbly and smiling again at the sand sibling, the glare just becomes more icy as he shudders. "I think its going to snow…I like snow…if its snows lets make a snow man together Gaara!" Grell cheerfully grins making small hand gestures and flailing his hands to emphasise how they would do it.

~~E…Flash~~

"why were you always saying those things?" Gaara questions only to find Grell just peering at him with large eyes seeming to be dazzled by the train of thoughts being spilled so easily for once. "why wouldn't you look at the real me?" Gaara's eyes cock to look down at the ANBU captain.

~~Flash~~

"love is the spirit of devoting yourself to someone important and close to you. It is expressed by caring for and protecting that person. I believe that my sister always loved you Gaara"

~~E...Flash~~

For a moment everything is quiet until Grell jumps when Gaara grabs his temples and yells. "shut up!" the Kazekage screams in a emotional pain as the sand seems to brew angrily, he tenses and snarls when the ANBU captain stands up at the other side of the sand barrier. "you too…even you!" he hisses with a harsh glare towards the nin, Grell stumbles slightly trying to wade through the sand towards him.

"I'm not going to lose…I know I'm clumsy…you can complain if you want to…" Grell speaks with his voice out of place, slowly coming towards him ignoring any of the sand that threatens his life. "sometimes you can just say it, say what you want Gaara" his pale hand reaches out through the harsh sand and ghosts it on Gaara's own knuckles lightly. "I really don't have the strength…I'm scared…Gaara you're scary…but I want us to be together…" Grell softly says "I want to eat meals with you…train along side you…be worried about you" the feminine red head looks up and into Gaara's glaring green orbs with teary eyes. "I'll take the bad with the good …that's why I want to be with you!" Grell loses any apparent sense of danger about the situation and wraps Gaara into an embrace holding him as tight as possible, ignoring the thrashing and keeping the pains from the angry sand at bay. Refusing to let go his chin leans onto the Kazekage who seems to have stopped struggling at the strong grip around him.

"it's ok if you can't love everything…I was scared…fear is proof that I looked at the real you right?" Grell softly whispers into the taller mans ear in a calming tone and smiles gently. "I kept it secret and wouldn't even look at it because the last thing I would ever have wanted to do was hurt you" he softly whispers feeling the tense sand sibling seem to unhinge his tightened shoulder blades. "I thought about it my whole life but never say anything…it's okay to be selfish right?" Grell's hug seems to slacken as he moves just slightly to be able to see Gaara's blackened eyes.

"if you don't love me it's okay…I can still follow you around in the black of the crowd like you've always wanted…" Grell smiles again letting a couple tears stain his cheeks and Gaara's shoulder. "it seems stupid, I thought nobody would tell me the truth" the red head looks forward and never at Gaara, slightly sleepy but happy to have the warmth even if it where only to last a moment longer.

"why are you saying the one thing I wanted to hear right now? Why is someone like you crying for me…why?" Gaara seems to sinks while his voice hitch's when Grell hugs a little tighter. "I don't know much about the curse…but I'm glad I met you Gaara…I'll never regret meeting you" his hands shifting to rest and grip up onto his shoulders from behind in a gentle squeeze. "even though it might be hard, your feelings are important to me" Grell replies in a hushed manner nuzzling him slightly, Gaara stands still feeling the hug loosen and the others body slacken. Finding him self holding the ANBU leader up after blacking out in his arms, a smile on his face and his eyes watered with a gentle blush.

The sand around them starts to break and slide back into the gourd leaving the room as if nothing had happened, the Kazekage walks and places the sleeping nin onto the small sofa, watching him he leans closer leaving only their noses touching. A gentle brush of lips is parted then he stands back up, flinching when an almost invisible giggle comes from the once sleeping Grell who only softly mumbles.

"no fair…" his eyes abjured and looking at the Kazekage sleepily, a small pout on his face watching him moving closer again he places his lips over one more time and kisses for a moment. Leaving Grell whimpering inside to have made the kiss last longer, but before anything could be said Gaara had walked away down the hall. His eyes move to the roof and he smiles deviously mentally noting his win of Gaara's first kiss, something to taunt the annoying fan girls with later. He giggles evilly before closing his eyes again and drifting off happily into the happy thoughts of him and Gaara.


End file.
